The lesbian awakening is a journey full of exploration and self discovery.
1、 The budding stage of awakening
1. Initial appearance of emotions
It may start with some inadvertent moments. Perhaps on the school playground, seeing a girl's smile in the sunshine deeply attracts one's gaze, and in the days to come, one will often think of that smile. The emergence of this emotion is very subtle, like a seed in the heart starting to sprout.
In group activities, when completing tasks with a female companion, there is an indescribable feeling when their eyes meet or their shoulders lightly touch, which is completely different from when interacting with boys. For example, in a group discussion, exchanging ideas with the girl next to me, her fragrant hair and focused gaze when she approaches will make ripples in my heart.
2. The beginning of self-examination
With the emergence of these special emotions, one will begin to ponder why they have such feelings. I will observe my reactions in different gender groups, such as at mixed gender gatherings where I find myself unconsciously approaching women and being more interested in their topics.
When recalling past experiences, one may recall that during adolescence, the love for a female idol was not only about appreciating talent, but also a hidden admiration. For example, for a female singer, collecting all her posters and feeling excited upon hearing her voice may have been overlooked at the time, but it will be re examined during the awakening process.
3. Driven by knowledge exploration
In order to better understand one's emotions, they will start searching for information about their sexual orientation. You may find some books on gender studies in the corner of the library, where you can learn about different types of sexual orientations, including lesbianism. I also follow some LGBTQ+accounts on social media to gain a more comprehensive understanding of lesbianism through the stories and knowledge they share.
2、 The Awakening Growth Stage
1. The Struggle for Self Acceptance
When one initially realizes that they may be a lesbian, a storm will erupt in their heart. The voice of traditional ideas may echo in one's ears, telling oneself that this is' abnormal '. At this point, one may fall into self doubt and even try to suppress their emotions.
However, the true emotions in one's heart are like undercurrents surging and cannot be ignored. At this stage, one may use anonymous blogs to document their confusion and struggles, draw strength from the comments and support of netizens, and gradually learn to face their sexual orientation.
Some people choose to read books on self growth and psychological self-help to learn how to accept themselves. For example, the book "Accepting an Imperfect Self" contains some ideas that can help lesbian women better handle their emotions and mentality during the awakening process.
2. Adjustment and expansion of social circles
With the process of self acceptance, one will begin to consider revealing their sexual orientation to those around them. When coming out to friends, one may first choose those who are more open-minded and use more tactful channels, such as mentioning some topics related to homosexuality in chat, observing friends' reactions, and then finding the appropriate time to express one's situation.
For family members, this process is more cautious. We will consider the acceptance level of our family members, and some may first communicate with younger and easier to communicate members of the family, gradually expanding to communicate with elders such as parents. At the same time, we will actively seek out LGBTQ+communities and participate in cultural activities with LGBTQ+themes, such as lesbian poetry recitations, to meet like-minded friends and broaden our social circle.
3. The opening of emotional exploration
In the process of awakening, there will also be new expectations for lesbian relationships. I may pay attention to women who may share common interests and hobbies with me in my social circle or through social media. In our interactions with them, we pay more attention to each other's emotional interactions, such as whether there is emotional resonance in conversations and whether we share small secrets from life with each other. When encountering a girl who makes one's heart flutter, one will cautiously embark on a new emotional exploration, which is full of unknowns and novelty, and is also an important stage after the awakening of lesbianism.
